People’s moods and circumstances fluctuate between sadness and happiness, health and illness, affluence and poverty, and stability and instability. Subsequently, their reaction to the way they are dealt with also changes depending on their psychological state at the time. A person may appreciate a joke when he is stable and relaxed, but not when he is upset. It would thus be very inappropriate to make a joke when visiting someone bereaved. But the same joke would be acceptable if said whilst out on a picnic. This is something all people understand and needs no further explanation. However, what does need to be clarified further is that one must take into consideration a person’s psychological state, emotions and personality when speaking to or dealing with him.
One occasion which beautifully demonstrates the Prophet’s (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) consideration for people’s sensitivities is the way he dealt with Abu Bakr’s father when heading to the conquest of Makkah with the Muslim army. Abu Bakr’s father, Abu Quhafah, was a blind old man. He said to his granddaughter, “Dear daughter, take me to Mount Abu Qays so I can see for myself the truth of what they are saying, and whether Muhammad really is approaching or not.”
She said, “I see blackness approaching us.”
He said, “Those are the horses.”
She said, “I see a man going back and forth in front of that blackness.”
He said, “He is the man responsible for leading the horses.”
She said, “The blackness has now spread.”
He said, “By Allah, this means that the horses have nearly approached Makkah. Take me to my house quickly for they have said that whoever shuts himself in his house is safe!”
The girl brought him down the mountain, but they were intercepted by Muslim horsemen before they could reach home. Abu Bakr went to his father and greeted him. Then he took him by his hand to the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) in the mosque. When the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) saw him, he found him to be an old man whose body had weakened and bones had softened and who was close to death. Abu Bakr looked at his father, who he now saw after a long period of separation, for he had been apart from his father in the service of his religion.
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said to Abu Bakr out of kindness, “Why didn’t you leave your old father at home so I could come to see him instead?”
Abu Bakr knew that they were in the middle of a war where the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) was their leader. He also knew that the Prophet had very little time and too much to accomplish to visit the old man’s house and ask him to accept Islam. Hence, Abu Bakr thanked the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, it is more appropriate that he comes to you than for you to go to him.”
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) sat Abu Quhafah down in front of him very kindly, placed his hand on his chest and said, “Accept Islam.”
Abu Quhafah’s face illuminated, and he said, “I testify that there is no one worthy of worship but Allah and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger”, and Abu Bakr rejoiced as he had never done before. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) gazed at the old man’s face and noticed that his hair had turned grey, so he said, “Dye his hair, but do not use black.”
The story of the Prophet’s (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) interaction with Abu Bakr’s father teaches us a valuable lesson in understanding and compassion. It reminds us of the significance of acknowledging the psychological states and emotions of those we encounter. By doing so, we can adapt our words and actions to their needs, fostering connections and bridging conflicts.
In our own lives, let us strive to emulate the Prophet’s (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) example. Rather than losing people or allowing conflicts to escalate, let us make genuine efforts to win over everyone, understanding that each person carries their own set of sensitivities. By cultivating empathy and compassion, we can build stronger relationships and contribute to a more harmonious society.
This story is taken from a Book called ” Enjoy your life“ By Dr. al-Areefi (Al Arifi)
IQRA - Learn to be a Light 